shark vs. livingroom

"Twenty-eight children in the United States were killed by falling television sets between 1990 and 1997. That is four times as many people as were killed by great white shark attacks in the twentieth century. Loosely speaking, this means that watching 'Jaws' on TV is more dangerous than swimming in the Pacific" --"The Statistical Shark" TNYT 9/6/01

Emerson=sefish hippie w pantheism-on-steroids

no really.

Maybe he would even like that label.

He is also like the male flower-child of Ayn Rand even though he came first.

Ayn Rand = "selfishness is the best thing in the world along with money and pure capitalism and my lover <3John Gault<3. If your body is angular and reminds me of architecture AND you agree with me then we will move to my capitalist utopia hidden away in bermuda-triangle-like-mountains and smoke dollar sign imprinted $cigarettes$ together before we save the world"

Emerson = "SELFishness is the best thing in the world along with channeling/reconnecting with the spiritual blob at the center of everything (=MotherEarth/God/DivineSpirit/DivineSoulofallMankindandNature). As long as you aren't poor/charitable lets be BFFs, take nature walks together and contemplate our awesome-ness"

squirrel+stalker=squawker or stirrel

I have lately seen many blind squirrels. They seem at first to be like any other grounds squirrels--skitterishly busy but pretty much oblivous/indifferent to my (even when stomping) approach. All squirrels on grounds lack this basic fear of any humans----something that would come in REALLY handy whenever say, I want to use an outdoor trashcan and they are hunched over and around it, gnawing on pizza crusts, STARING at me and standing their ground.

Blind squirrels are the same only scarier because they seem to be staring at everything. All at once. I am torn between pity (aww, you poor furry little disabled mammal maybe i can adopt you!) and morbid fear/fascination (holy cow your eyes are even whiter than your long yellow teeth). They are both....cute....AND like something from a horror movie; Snow White's animal friends in the woods gone wrong.

I have been referring to the blind squirrel(s) as "they", like plural, but now I realize that I've never actually seen more than one at once. "They" could be all the the SAME squirrel. Which is probably worse because "it" hangs out around all my class buildings.

One comforting thing I learned the other day was that squirrels can't contract rabies. Who knew. Another redeeming thing for squirrels is that they have fur on their tails, unlike rats.

like christmas, but better

holy freaking cow i have 14 boxes of vietri to unpack, each the size of a 60's television/playfort/small dresser.

oh, and there are 10-20ish boxes packed inside each of those boxes surrounded by loads of static-y peanuts.

i go through the list to make sure everything is sent. BZA-2625BC???? Quantity of 1??? YES it's HERE I CAN CHECK IT OFF YESSSSSSSSS

enthusiasm does not run in the family

ahahahahahaaaa.

not my dad/myself

katarina vermeulen

i would name my hippo....bessie

coffee, snacks and massages all day? no wonder she comes back.




i would get a little carrying purse, so it would be like paris hilton with tinkerbelle, except a hippo. just kidding i would never subject poor little monifa/moneefa/mow-knee-fah(best)to that.



because dogs can't walk, obviously

omgzzz or we could like, have matching outfits.
"that's hot"

not.

best kind for hiking

i see this advertisement all the time...

"Read the trick, discovered by a mom to turn yellow teeth white"

...and it really annoys me. what, so the fact you've been pregnant makes you a reliable expert on dental hygiene??? ok awesome.

it's a CULT

HAHAH i love jane austen but this borders scary.

www.pemberley.com

Janeites

"Ready to move in?"

"We use our real names here at Pemberley"..."Using our real names fosters our sense of community"

"Applying for citizenship please"

ok i appreciate the whole desire for properness/manners/etiquette and i realize that the people on this site don't take themselves completely seriously (i hope) but look, it's not the 18th century and Jane Austen is dead.

wow The Cave Singers just might be my favorite band now

Come on baby, let's take a ride
And we might make it to morning light
The sun is bright and bold and brave
My car is a stone that gently waves



no grooveshark for this song:(

so nice

poor frog

this song is overplayed but i like it because taylor and i are going to be best friends in the future although she doesn't know it yet.




also i had to post something on taylor swift because i made smoothies until 12:30 last night/morning because of her CONCERT crowd.

elementary poetry II

I loved to write poetry when I was younger. Topics ranged from dinosaurs to camel soup to rabbit utopias.

My Dino
again i think tom helped me with this...

I'm gonna live with a dinosaur
I think I'll faint when I hear its roar
I wonder if it eats macaroni and cheese
But I hope it doesn't eat elbows and knees
I'm gonna live with dinosaurs
I'm pretty sure I'll have some sores
Broken arms and a broken nose
Large teethmarks and bloody toes
I wonder if I'll get a Tyrannosaurus
Iguanodon or a Brontosauras
I gotta think of a Dino name
I wonder if he's wild, I wonder if he's tame
Watson, Georrgie, Harry Mary
Different Dino names will vary
Hairy, skinny, plump or fat I'm
gonna get a dinosaur now what
do you think of that!

i was obsessed with cats. no really. i was subscribed to Cat Fancy no lie.

Swift and silently she creeps
gliding through the rippling grass
Her eyes like glowing embers and
her fur as smooth as glass

her muscles tense and coiled tight
like a thick and coiled spring
her claws sheathed but quivering ready
not knowing what her hunt will bring

Limerick

There once was a small, fierce young Wog
who lived by a swampy old bog
he would eat anything
that his mother would bring
but his favorite was green roasted frog

i just realized that all this poetry deals with violence in some way. i swear i had a happy childhood!!

here is a cheeseball peaceful poem for Ms. ___'s 6th grade english class...shoot I forget her name but she was one of my favorite teachers. She was incredibly cynical and sarcastic and I'm pretty sure she hated children. She had a gravelly voice, yellow-white hair and a smokers cough but I really liked her. The only reason she liked me is because I never talked. Anyways, this poem is happy and even has bunnies in it. Probably just reflecting my state of mind in the class.

A garden sloped with moss and green
A gurgling spring, a breeze serene
Pebbles pink, smooth and round
Rippled hills where rabbits bound

awwww.

--also, i have no idea what the point of this mossy rippled hill garden place is. nothing happens besides rabbits.

i didn't write this poem but it used to be one of my favorites:

The ruby-throated hummingbird
is harldy bigger than this WORD!!
--Jack Prelatsky

Pieces: elementary poetry I

who are these random people following me on a twitter i've never posted to??? "Carina"? "Emelio"?? do i know you?? do you know me? Lets hope NOT. your profile pictures are beyond sketch.

i like

sounds a little like MGMT



the actual video for it semi creeps me out...what is that thing in the picture though? an igloo in the desert?

this is how i roll